It always shocks me whenever I see one of these hulking metal Mastadons from an era gone by still roaming the earth. Not only that but this dude managed to get a parking space (and a half) two blocks from Wrigley field on a game day. Go figure. Imagine if you will the year is 1978, your dad arrives home from work one day and announces rather loudly to the family that there is a “suprise” in the driveway. He is wearing a shortsleeve dress shirt and a tie, like Sipowitz. He has a rather bushy mustache and is wearing English Leather. In his shirt pocket is a half a pack of Bensen and Hedges. The kids all rush outside and find this, a Dodge Trans Van. Dreams of Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore fill young minds. Maps are procured and plans are made, but alas those perfect family vacations are never realized. Sure it got driven to a family reunion in Stroudsburg Pennsylvania once, and Tommy took his buddies to see Molly Hatchet in Milwaukee on his 19th birthday (even caught a guitar pick!). But eventually dad had sell it. It’s traded hands a few times since then and now an emo band from Dayton owns it. Their playing at the Metro tonight, they go on first of 4 bands. It burns some oil, the ball joints are shot, but it gets them around. Their hipster friends think it’s an awesome van and the bass player even got laid in it one night in Baltimore. This rig is still rollin’….yeah man, fuck Mount Rushmore.
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